Before I got engaged, the question was ‘When are you getting engaged?’ When I got engaged the question was ‘When are you getting married?’ And now that I’m married and thought that everyone could take a little breather and give me a minute, the question has quickly become ‘When do you plan to start having babies???’

ZOMG!!!

Give a sister a break dammit!  A weeeee bit of breathing room.  SHEEEEESH!  One life milestone at a time!  Maybe people don’t have enough small talk to exchange, maybe my quiet demeanor makes them nervy or maybe they’re just damn nosy, but to be honest what if I don’t want kids?  Or better yet, what if I can’t have kids?  I’m not sure if people truly appreciate the pressure that women have to get all of this family stuff under their belt, while still maintaining a job, a happy home life and an active social one.

I’m pretty sure I want kids, and equally as sure that I can have them, but after spending what felt like a year planning a marriage the last thing I want to do is start planning for a new member of the fam.  The reason why I find all of this so annoying is that I don’t believe any of these questions were (or are) bridged to my significant other.  The only questions he got were ‘Are you really going to go through with the wedding?’ followed by ‘Dude, I cannot believe you did it!’ Ugggghhh!

Not to get into the whole male/female debate, but for realz being a dude is lookin mighty fine right about now.  The pressure to procreate – which gains significant momentum the older you get – is intense for women…  Being freshly 30 and having a husband significantly older than that makes the situation even more extreme.  For some people, my situation allows them to feel like they can say things like ‘It doesn’t get any easier’  or make gestures to their watches while making ‘tick tock sounds’….

My biggest fear growing up was becoming a mother before I had attained a certain level of success. Although I realize raising a functional family is a task worth more accolades that it is given, my dream for myself included me being on the tip of world domination before even the slightest thought of a bun in the oven.

Things change, dreams of world domination morph into dreams of true happiness – a journey I am willingly traveling along – but I can’t help but think -even if I’m not going to rule the world- can’t I at least rule my uterus?  The idea of having a baby, although wonderful and beautiful, also seems so life changing that I can only imagine how hard it must be for someone climbing the precarious corporate ladder while simultaneously trying to smash through the glass ceiling.  When I was working at an investment firm as an assistant to the top dog, it wasn’t strange for me to hear things like ‘Make sure she’s over the baby making stage’…   Translation: hiring women who might want to procreate is a burden, so let’s avoid them….  As a woman the pressure is on you from all sides.  You don’t want to wait too long, but you also want to be able to etch out a place for yourself in the world independent of dependents.

Having a child should be a welcome addition to your life, not a necessity and definitely not the result of pressure or guilt.  I took my sweet ass time to decide to get married and I think a baby deserves the same amount of thought – understanding fully the costs and benefits to that decision.

So next time you see me on the street and you have the urge to ask me when I plan on having babies don’t be sad for me when I say ‘I don’t know’.  Be happy for my indecision and rest assured that when I’m ready, you will know everything, and probably a little more than you bargained for…

xoxo,

coco

Almost all of my girlfriends are single…  And when I say single I mean Single -with a capital ‘S’ AKA – not a prospect on the horizon…  My recent marriage has unfortunately brought the issue of their ‘singlehood’ to the forefront.  I could care less if they stay single for all of eternity – if that is their desire- but the closer I got to my ‘Big Day’ and ever since then, the more I have been hearing things that I have never heard come out of any of their mouths before like “Coco, will I ever find someone?” or “Am I destined to be alone” and the most persistent being – “Where the hell are all of the single, eligible men?!?!?!”

The last question has bothered me the most.  I go out with my friends quite regularly and to be honest I couldn’t tell you where the single guys are either…  The one thing I see when I go out in Toronto is a wack-load of some of the prettiest women ever -’wack-load’ meaning like 5 pretty girls to every 1 guy….  This got me to thinking….  Where ARE all of the single men?

Well after a little research I discovered that my friend’s gripes and my observations weren’t that far off after all…  According to Statistics Canada, in Toronto women outnumber men in every category over 20 years of age and in Canada overall there are 95.9 men for every 100 women…. hmmmmm….  and I was thinking rap music was to blame for all of the double timing men out there…  No sir, in Toronto and increasingly in cities all over the world women are out numbering men giving them not only a ton to pick from but even more to play with…

But this can’t be the case everywhere?!?!  Correct!  As a matter of fact there are plenty of cities where the odds are in favor of the ladies.  And to make it all a little easier Richard Florida made a colour coded map  for the U.S. that lays it all on the line.

Stay away from The Big Apple, stats say that women outnumber men by 200,000….  From the map it looks like California, Arizona, Seattle and maybe Texas are your best bets State side.

As for this side of the border Tenille Bonoguore of The Globe and Mail suggests moving west to places like Alberta -staying away from the major cities like Calgary and Edmonton mind you where the populations become more even again… Overall in most states and provinces, women fair better in the smaller towns rather than big cities.

So ladies tell me, how do you find the dating scene in your town, city, province or state?

read more from Tenille’s article HERE

xoxo,

coco

I can’t get this memory out of my head. This is how I spent my 26th birthday–On the grass facing the eiffel tower with three of my besties and a bottle of wine.

Eiffel Tower -Day to Night

A little Rando-dando for the day:

So, last night we went out for my bday and we met this guy…

…only in paris!

My apologies for the lack of posts, I’m on European time aka SlowMo. I will be posting on Paris shortly.

xoxo,

Lowe

Hope you’re enjoying your time in Paris!!!

Love you so much!  I couldn’t ask for a better friend or partner.

Have the BEST birthday ever!!

xoxo,

coco

Brilliant way to keep the TTC (Toronto Transit Commission) Gum free! Provide paper so people can discard it themselves and provide pictures to show the dummies how the whole process works!

That’s all.

One of our lovely readers Cindy sent me this article about a couple’s engagement photos in Haiti and I opened it at exactly the right moment.  In the thick of wedding planning, with not much time to go and even more to plan, this story had me in tears and reminded me to remember what I’m doing (getting married) and why I’m doing it (love) and to stop sweating every miniscule detail.

It reminded me that in the midst of all of the devastation that this island has endured, Haiti remains one of the most beautiful places on earth where people are still living their lives and falling in love.

Haiti still needs your help.  You can support like I did by purchasing one of these Haiti t-shirts designed  by Bryan from The Legends League

All of the money goes directly to the cause and they go for $30. If you want to help support send an email here: d@firstladymgmt.com

see more from the Haiti engagement shoot HERE

Thanks Cindy!!!

love, love, love,

coco